Safe cigarettes: boring you to death

 

Safe cigarettes: boring you to death

 

Let me start this editorial out by saying that cigarettes are bad for you. Cigarettes can kill.

 

We all know this. Matter of fact; when a baby is born, just after the doctor smacks life into this child, (the first “smack” of many to come for this poor child) the first four words out of this child’s mouth are: Mamma, Dada, and cigarettes kill.

 

We know that cigarettes can kill.

 

So excuse me while I contemplate the irony in a “safe- cigarette”?

 

For those who may not know, Pennsylvania has passed the “fire- safe cigarette” law this year and these “nasty treats” have hit stores in Meadville.

 

The “safe- cigarette” burns itself out if you are not constantly puffing on it and it tastes like garbage. Stale garbage.

 

I know what you are thinking; “Why doesn’t he just quit smoking?

 

You would have a point there. And at the risk of sounding ungrateful that I now have a safe- cigarette that COULD spare me the painful death of burning, but still provides the agonizingly slow death of cancer; I have given up ENOUGH stuff in my life. (Drinking and driving, hanging out in bars, and chasing young women. OK, the last one; I didn’t have much choice.)

 

So forgive me, but I am growing tired of losing freedoms.

 

Some states have outlawed trans-fat in foods, some want to tax every mile you drive, other states are toying with the idea of a car that can tell if you have been drinking and it will NOT start. Cars already have a dozen reasons why they will not start. I do not need another reason why my car will not start (because I just rinsed with mouthwash.)

 

For all you people who have been told to smoke outside, or that you shouldn’t supersize your meal, or you have spent 15 minutes trying to open a DVD movie from the theft proof boxes.

 

Enough is enough…!

 

We do not need a babysitter.

 

Sure, someday they might make life so safe that we all live to be 200. However, they are “boring us to death.”

 

Advertisements